Why Ask Why?

I recently lost a friend to breast cancer and it was crushing. I met her after her diagnosis and got close to her and her family throughout her treatment, all the while just knowing that she would get better. Unfortunately, her breast cancer metastatized to her brain and within months she was gone. I was on the way to her house to visit her after work one evening and called to let her family know I was on the way. "Don't bother coming", her relative said, "she passed this afternoon". If I wasn't stopped at a gas station, I would have ran off the road. My heart bottomed out. I was crushed. My mind immediately ran to her teenage daughter. I could see her face. I looked behind me in the car, at my young daughter and thought about what could have been. "What's wrong Mommy?" Noelle asked me. "My friend died." I coudn't believe she was gone, but she was.

As I stood there at her funeral, I could barely feel anything because I felt too much. She was gone. She has left behind children, one of which I am particularly close to, because she is such a lovely young lady, because we developed a relationship over the months, because we share the same name, because to me, she represents what could have happened to me. The look I see in her eyes, could have been in my daughter Noelle's..."where is my mommy?"

I think people don't really get it. They don't really get what in the world is going on, that people are dying from this f-ing preventable disease and it makes me very angry. It also makes me very sad. People are dying becasue people think breast cancer advocacy is something their company does once a year, that they do for "three days" or that is the thing to do, or the thing to say that they are invovled in, all the while not even doing their monthly self exams or talking to other women on a regular basis about the importance of their breast health.

So, I ask you, "why ask why"? Why ask why did I lose my friend, mother, sister, cousin, lover, daughter, when all you did was do a walk, a run or donate money? Why ask why when you are part of the problem and not part of the solution? Why ask why when you didn't really care and invest of yourself when it was happening to someone else, but now ask because it is happening to you? Why?

I am guilty of the same thing, so I know what it feels like to be "too busy" or have "too much on your plate", but I'll tell you, nothing consumes more of your life than disease and breast cancer can consume a lot of your time, your energy and if caught too late, it will consume your life. Use your voice...or would you rather be shy about spreading the word and wait to see your loved one in a hospital bed or a box? To me, it's that simple. You have, they have too much to offer the world.

So today, I ask you to think out of the box for a moment - think outside of your box, your life. As a matter of fact, let's go back to where you were, think inside your box, hey, I like that idea! Think about the people you love and that you encounter every day, think about what your life might be without them, then think about one simple thing you can do to save that woman's life - talk - it's free, it's easy and it's informative, so remind her of the importance of her breast health. Ask if she does regular self exams, goes for annual doctor examinations or if she is at a high risk, has she had a mammogram. If not, then tell her about her risks and ask her to do this for herself, because she deserves it. This way, you're making an impact that goes a long way and you'd be amazed what a long way it goes when you empower one woman to be her own best advocate. That woman goes on and tells the next woman, who tells the next and so on. I really believe that spreading the word, increasing awareness and subsequently prevention, is the best way to save lives. Am I interested in a cure, yes, but what the hell does a cure matter if you're getting sick in the first place. Don't wait to get sick and then look for a cure, but proactively take care of your body, eat well, rest well, be well - emotionally, mentally, spiritually, honor yourself and your life by being proactive and preventative and you will live well.

I don't want you to die from breast cancer because I love you and I care. Love yourself and love the women around you. Don't ask why; ask what you can do and get to doing it.

Until next time, live well, love well and be well...biggest hugs and kisses. May the Universe, God and all the angels smile, shine and surround you even more.

You are loved,
Maimah